Meeting kindred spirits in blogland is the best. I discovered Mode Parade through The Grumpy Owl, and only recently noticed we were both now located in London. Barima and I share a few affinities including flaunting our vast vocabularies and a fascination with the characters and fashions of the past.  Lately I’ve been bringing my paintbox with me everywhere, so today over tea in Soho we painted each other’s portraits.

My version of Barima. He pointed out that I didn’t quite get the shoulders right, a bit too square. He is right, of course.

Below, Barima’s version of me. At first vanity declared it didn’t like the emphasis on the dark circles under my eyes, but the more I look at this, the more I enjoy it. Thanks Barima.

It was such a pleasure to be commissioned by a friend, Gary, to paint a portrait of his wife, my dear friend Jenn. I often hesitate to take on portrait projects because it’s not really my thing – not this time. I knew Jenn’s distinctive mischievous mouth would be fun to render, even though the paper version is a pale imitation of the real thing. Thanks Gary for a delightful brief!

The more I work with watercolours, the more I like them. The contradictions are what makes them so interesting – somehow achieving a controlled randomness is the goal, and approaching an illustration with planning and patience while still allowing for instantaneous improvisation is a trick that takes practice. I feel like I am over the initial steep learning curve, though I have a long way to go.

By the way, you should check out what my smart, fun friends are into: Gary edits Aggregation Magazine – a clever collection of generalist links, and Jenn is the online editor of FLARE.com, the website of one of Canada’s most respected fashion publications.

Lonely? Been there. Fuck that.

I’m living in London. It is one of the wealthiest, most powerful cities in the world, home to 8 million souls, and when I arrived here I could count my acquaintances on the fingers of one hand. The first month here was the loneliest month of my life, which seems impossible surrounded by people, money, and messages of good will. Christmas is a terrible time to make new friends. That’s why the renewal of a new year held so much promise for me. I made a resolution to “leave no social stone unturned”,  and this post shares what I’ve learned so far.

As a freelancer and a single person, a diverse portfolio of friendships and acquaintances isn’t just nice to have – it’s a necessity that helps me build my career, maintain my health and mental well-being. Every business is a people business, and every life is made richer by the quality of the relationships in it. If you’ve ever felt social isolation you know that it drags you down, holds you back, and makes you sick. Many people limit the possibilities in their life by allowing fear of rejection and complacency to close their social circle.

And while being on good terms with a wide variety of people is incredibly valuable, the real social goal is to find your people. Kelly Cutrone calls them “your tribe” - what we’re really talking about is the people you have a true affinity with – your real friends. As Hugh MacLeod says,

“The people you trust and vice versa, this is what will feed you. Nothing else.”

In a city of millions, or even a town of hundreds, there will be some human beings who will “get” you and care for you just as much as you care for them, who will inspire you and encourage you. That’s all that really matters. You won’t find them by watching TV. Here’s five ways I’ve met acquaintances, colleagues, fellow travellers and friends over the past four months.

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1. Circumstance.

This takes the least amount of effort. Your family, flatmates, neighbours, your work colleagues, or your classmates, are all circumstantial contacts. In my case, I am at a major disadvantage – what I do for a living is incredibly solitary. I don’t go to school, and I don’t have a day job. My flatmates are great but I don’t share a lot in common with them. Counterintuitively, this is an advantage, because it’s too easy to relax into circumstantial relationships. Many people never expand their horizons beyond this, even if the quality of the relationships leaves much to be desired. These people have to at least tolerate your presence in their lives, whether you share any type of affinity with them or not. Beyond this core, lies risk and rejection.

2. Friends of friends.

This was my first line of attack in January. I put the word out that I was in London and I wanted to meet everyone’s London friends. Friends are generous people – and they love to help out, and people are much more inclined to meet you if you are introduced this way. I got a lot of introductions – sometimes through very tangential degrees of separation. The one limitation I found with this was that the tendency would be to end up meeting a lot of other Canadians who are in the same boat – it’s good company but it doesn’t help either of you transcend where you’re at.

While I experienced a low level of missed connections in this arena, for the most part I ended up with a very diverse group of acquaintances and a few new friends. I also met quite a few people I might not have met any other way. The funny thing is that having a friend in common doesn’t guarantee many other commonalities at all. Don’t let this stop you from making the connection though – only knowing people that are just like you is boring.

3. Social Networking

As a blogger, I am quite accustomed to meeting friends through the internet, but this is by no means usual. Many people have never met someone from the internet before, so be prepared for a low level of rejection based on people’s fear of the unknown. This is a terrific way to meet people. You get a sense from their profiles and feeds about whether you have similar interests and senses of humour, and in my experience this qualifies people even more than having friends in common. Most of my best friends are fellow bloggers – bloggers tend to be very open, articulate, passionate, curious people. That’s a high level of affinity to me.

There are a few things to keep in mind if you want to pull online relationships offline. First of all, you need to be open with your own profiles. Don’t limit your facebook and twitter to people you know already. Give people a chance – try them out – if they drive you nuts, they’re easily gotten rid anyway if you have no real life ties to them. You need to be patient. Wait for the right time – an event, or a natural transition to a more intimate form of contact like DM or email, and people will be more receptive to meeting IRL.

When I first got to London, I scoped out a number of potential groups of friends (as Ze calls them, po-friends) on twitter. I found one group in particular who weren’t fashion related but who had a great sense of humour. They went out to comedy clubs sometimes and after a while of @-ing and bantering I asked if I could come along. They are just as fun in real life as they were online, and even though they found my way of inserting myself into their lives kind of strange and amusing, they accepted me anyway. This was a total win.

4. Qualified introductions.

This is where social adventurism gets aspirational. You want to meet people in your industry or field that you admire, people who are far busier than you and who have far less time or need to meet new people than you do. Cold emails will get ignored in a high-volume inbox and cold calls are just intrusive and give a bad impression. Sidling up to them at parties takes all the fun out of partying for both of you. In this case, your best bet is to find a friend in common who will give you a qualified introduction.

Here’s something to keep in mind too – just because someone is influential or important, doesn’t mean that they belong in your tribe. And if they’re not in your tribe, they’re likely never to be more than an acquaintance, if that. People at this level meet so many people that acquaintances are treated much the same as strangers. Only leaders whose thinking is fundamentally aligned with yours, who are direct influencers of your own work, are worth the amount of effort it takes to climb this social mountain. This isn’t about superficial moments – getting your picture taken with a famous person or getting an autograph. It is about identifying yourself to them as a true disciple, a rare individual worthy of a genuine human relationship. Needless to say, just existing isn’t enough in this case. You have to demonstrate a high level of dedication and work well before you even try to make these contacts.

5. Happenstance.

This is the top level of social interaction, above even qualified introductions, because it takes the most confidence and charisma. Simply introducing yourself to strangers takes all kinds of guts and glory, and of all the methods I’ve mentioned here, yields the most instances of rejection. Yet, it is worth it because it raises the bar on any situation – making parties more fun, opening up random adventures, allowing you to discover people and experiences that you would never find any other way. The people you meet this way are on the same trip you are – open wide, keen to find what life has to offer.

I also believe this is probably the best way to meet someone romantically. Dating far outside your established social and professional circles is preferable for so many reasons.

Going to events alone is the best way to do this because it gives you no other choice but to move beyond the fear. The most success I’ve had involves offering some type of service – if you’re at a party, and someone looks lonely, introduce yourself. Then start introducing them to other people. I’ve met people by watching their bikes while they get their picture taken. I’ve met people standing in queues waiting to get into fashion shows. I’ve met people by sharing tables at busy bars and restaurants. I’ve met people by showing up early for something and having to wait around. I’ve approached people just because I think they look cute or interesting. Flattery will at least get you a hello. Sometimes it’s just as simple as throwing out a big grin or kicking a stray ball.

Some people will think you are crazy if you’re approaching them for no apparent motive. These people are so sane they’re boring. Brush off their rejection. Can’t think of anything to say? Great! Ask people about their lives – people love talking about themselves and you’ll learn new things.

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After using all of these five approaches, I’ve developed a fairly wide group of acquaintances in just a few months, met a couple of my fashion heroes, and found a few nascent friendships. I still deal with feelings of loneliness sometimes, though increasingly I have people I can call when I need to. The ultimate goal – finding my people – takes time. The process of actively seeking out connections only increases chances of finding them a little sooner. True friendships are rare and wonderful, and like all the best things in life, are well worth waiting for.

While I was dissolving my studio in Toronto and moving over the Atlantic to London, fellow illustrator and internet friend Corey Lee did the same, passing over the Pacific from Los Angeles to Tokyo. (I virtually met Corey when he did the first-ever-and-only fan art of me I’ve ever seen.) Naturally I’m curious about the parallel nomadic lives of my colleagues – Corey kindly answered some of my questions about making big international moves as a freelance illustrator.

What made you decide to move to Japan?

Back in June 2009 I visited Japan for the first time and I think it was love at first sight. The countryside is beautiful, but I really love Tokyo. It’s like an intricate machine with millions of pieces all working together harmoniously. Being in the center of that really inspires me everyday.

Was the transition smooth from a work standpoint? How much of your business is internet-based versus location-based?

It was nearly seamless. I do almost all of my work online, so besides the time difference my workflow hasn’t changed much.

How do you handle the costs of relocation and travel? Do you have to take on other jobs besides illustration?

I decided I wanted to live and work in Japan about a year in advance, so it gave me a lot of time to save up for my travel expenses and about three months of living expenses. Although I arrived with a decent amount of financial padding, I really tried to be as frugal as possible until I felt financially stable.

Initially I wanted to focus solely on freelancing in Tokyo, but after some research I realized I needed to secure I job at a Japanese company in order to obtain a work visa. It’s very difficult to sponsor your own work visa as a freelancer unless you’ve previously worked in Japan.

After about a month of hustling I managed to land a position at a small Japanese company where I did graphic design and illustration for mobile applications. This gave me a stable income and a work visa, while also allowing me to freelance.

How do you approach meeting friends and networking in a new country with a new language?

This is tough because I’m really a shy person when it comes to introducing myself and meeting new people. Along with networking online, I try to attend various events and meet-ups around the city as much as possible to network. The language barrier is difficult though. I spend a lot of time studying Japanese so I can improve the way I communicate with people.

What types of promotion do you use for your illustration work? Has that changed now that you are in a different country?

The way I promote online hasn’t changed too much. I still try to build traffic and web presence by getting my work featured on various websites and uploading my work to design communities like Behance, etc. The biggest difference now is I spend significantly more time networking in person. I’m still trying to break into the market, so I need to use every opportunity I can to promote.

Can you describe your current illustration studio setup? How do you do your work?

Right now my current setup consists of 21.5” iMac, large Wacom Intuos4, and a simple table for drawing. Because I’m kind of a minimalist and I work from my small apartment I like to keep things simple to conserve space. I really hate having clutter in my life.

When I create a new illustration I usually have a rough idea of what I want to draw, but gather my reference materials so I can decide on the details of what I want to create. I have a few folders on my computer where I save reference material like fashion magazine scans, and street style photos that I look at while drawing.

I draw my line work with just paper and pencil or sometimes ball point pen. I’ve been trying to migrate to drawing on my computer directly, however it still feels too unnatural. After completing the line work on paper I scan the drawing and add color with PhotoShop or SAI Paint Tool(a popular Japanese program). I’m constantly trying to tweak my technique so I don’t really have a standard process.

Do you think location matters for a working illustrator? Why or why not?

I feel like location is becoming less and less relevant. When you can promote your work and deliver worldwide with just an internet connection, location doesn’t seem to matter. There are no longer limits to who you can work for and where you can work from.

What are the greatest challenges in relocating as an illustrator? The greatest rewards?

The fear of failing. The fear I don’t posses the skills or drive to succeed. Even though I have goals I’d like to achieve I have doubts about my ability to accomplish them. At the same time, the most rewarding thing is the challenge itself. Succeeding in starting a career in another country, and living in an inspirational place is my reward.

She is a formidable force to be reckoned with.

Anita Clarke of I want – I got is my first, best fashion blog friend. We met back in the dark ages at the first ever Toronto Fashion Bloggers Brunch I organized, and ever since she’s been a great gig buddy and a fierce supporter of what I do. Watching her rise to the position of Toronto’s most influential fashion blogger has been truly inspiring, and I count myself lucky to be along for some of that ride.

Anita is unequivocally, baldly, herself, and that is the key to her success. She was one of my early clients and has used an illustration I did for her as her logo for some time, but I decided she needed something fresher and more to the point. The new logo image needed to adapt well to uses like twitter avatars and favicons. This is what I came up with.

When you’re a Canadian fashion girl in London, the first people you meet are other Canadian girls. They’re the ones with friends in common, and let’s face it – Canadian girls rock.

Besides our nationality, our fashion focus and our shared awesomeness, we’re all so different! Different dreams, vastly different aesthetics, unique talents. When we get together our conversations cover similar ground, and we offer each other encouragement, but we are all on our own trips. Taking on London on our own, together.

I sent a little email interview to a few of my favourite Canadian girls to give you a state of the union when it comes to landing in London and pursuing fashion freedom. To be fair, I also interviewed myself.

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Ashley Godsman is a tailor. She is a reader of the blog and she arrived in London around the same time I did. She reached out to me and I’m glad – she’s one of the hardest workers I know and she is always smiling.

How old are you?

24

How long have you been in London?

Since October 2010.

What are you seeking in London?

After working in the design industry in Montreal, Canada for the past few years, I was seeking to expand my knowledge and skill set on a global level. I wanted to specialize in (men’s) suiting, and I wanted to learn from the best; leading me to Savile Row in search of an apprenticeship, and hopefully after a few years, a position as a cutter.

Highlights so far?

Being given the opportunity to go in and work with an amazing tailoring house. It took a little bit of courage and a lot of luck! Seeing the amount of people that come into these houses seeking apprenticeships, and work experience on a day-to-day basis is incredible. There is absolutely nothing that sets me apart from the others, so it does make me feel grateful for being able to go in and do what I love.

I cannot say enough about the team of people I get to interact with everyday, they are some of the most patient, and incredibly knowledgeable people I have ever worked with; I wouldn’t be able to find this kind of experience anywhere else.

Lowlights so far?

When you hear about London being one of the most expensive cities to live in, they weren’t lying.

When I’m not at the tailors, I’m working a part time job, and a day off is few and far between. This city is constantly on the go and doesn’t wait for anyone. I don’t have time to feel tired, and knowing how quickly I could be replaced makes me work that much harder. In my spare time I’ll be going over how to draft a trouser pattern for a specific client, or practicing buttonholes.

What advice could you offer someone who is considering moving to London to work in fashion?

Perseverance, eventually it will pay off. You’ll push yourself harder than you ever thought, but it’ll be worth it in the end. Anything is possible; it just depends on how much you’re willing to sacrifice in order to achieve it.

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Sarah Joynt is a writer. I first met her when she was working as a PR assistant extraordinaire for Knot PR in Toronto. Her PR employers love her, and rightly so – she’s incredibly detail oriented, a conscientious observer with a keen sense of what really matters in the fashion business. In London, she’s using these talents towards a freelance writing career.

How old are you?

22

How long have you been in London?

Just over a year and a half.

What are you seeking in London?

Opportunity. I am ambitious, almost to a fault, and always looking for bigger and better opportunities. Whilst in Toronto I was working in PR and writing a bit on the side and I came here looking to become a magazine slave or work as someone’s assistant but have ended up writing on my own and am really enjoying it. Having the freedom choose who and what I write about, and get paid for it, has been a real career booster because my writing is always better when I’m passionate about the subject.

Highlight so far?

Receiving a handwritten note from a *big* designer thanking me for my review was definitely an unexpected highlight. This past fashion week was a big turning point for me because I finally felt like I was a player in the game rather than someone peeking in from the sidelines.

Lowlight so far?

In terms of my career, being in an environment without a solid network is always hard but even more so when you’re a freelancer. It’s been a bit of a struggle to make a name for myself and I think I’m only just starting to remind people that I live here. Working for international publications has been fantastic for my career but it means that people aren’t sure of my home base. Also, I was mugged a few months after I arrived which was a major low.

What advice could you offer someone who is considering moving to London to work in fashion?

Be prepared for it to be a very different market than Toronto or New York (or wherever you’re coming from outside the UK). There are a still a lot of old school people running things here and it takes some getting used to. My best advice is to be strategic about where you live. As a freelancer I need a strong home base and London is huge so finding somewhere you feel comfortable can really help with the settling in process.

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Cristina Sabaiduc is a designer. She is also an artist who loves exploring unconventional materials. I first discovered her when I saw her grad collection in Toronto – it featured gowns that transformed magnetically, embellished with flowers of iron filings, textiles made from hardware supplies like caulking and mesh. Besides being inventive, she is a true adventuress – a global gallivanter, all guts and glory.

How old are you?

23

How long have you been in London?

Six months.

What are you seeking in London?

An exploration of myself as a person and a designer. This city is so big and has so much to offer across so many disciplines; I feel like I’ve just had to open my eyes and take a second to see the vast possibilities. I hope to develop my career as a designer, in regards to my own line, and collaborating ventures.

Highlight so far?

Meeting everyone I have thus far has been an amazing experience; it’s really showed the many facets of the art and fashion world in London. The two most memorable highlights would be getting to assist with show production on on-site and off-site shows during my first fashion week here and the upcoming debut of my work at Debut Contemporary in Notting Hill.

Lowlight so far?

Probably every other day when you may feel even a nanosecond of self doubt. Moving to a new city and aspiring to work in this really tough industry can get to you at times, and I find I create my own lows as I’m my toughest critic. I can’t say I’ve had an extremely low experience or maybe I’ve just blocked it out of my memory.

What advice could you offer someone who is considering moving to London to work in fashion?

Research. I had planned to move to London for awhile but had barely anytime to pack my life up before leaving, let alone research. What I did the first three months here, I could have easily done before I moved (and started paying ridiculous rent). From little things like what’s the equivalent of Future Shop or Shopper’s Drug Mart to what studios and pr agencies are based in London. Getting a bible to the city (London A to Z) would be beneficial for anyone hoping to call this city their home.

And as for the industry, it’s small (surprisingly), so study it and be open to what you may encounter, London has a way of leading you down a path you didn’t think was possible.

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Danielle Meder is me. I’m a fashion illustrator and blogger.

How old are you?

28.

How long have you been in London?

Since November 2010.

What are you seeking in London?

I’m looking to develop contacts and clients, both here and around Europe. As a freelance fashion illustrator, I’ve built a decent level of visibility online and a strong personal network in Toronto where I lived for eight years, but the end goal is to be an illustrator with an international reputation and the clients to match. London is a great base because of its proximity to so many other international fashion capitals.

Highlights so far?

I’ve met a number people who I’ve admired and been inspired by from afar. In particular, David Downton (who I consider the world’s best living fashion illustrator), and Colin McDowell (a brilliant writer, well known collector of fashion illustration, and vivid connection to fashion’s fading memory) both complimented my work in person, which gave me the sense of validation and encouragement I truly needed – an irrefutable confirmation that I do in fact have the talent as well as the ambition.

Lowlights so far?

The sheer level of rejection you face as a newcomer in a competitive environment is truly difficult to learn how to handle. Emails disappear into the ether, faces turn away from you at parties, and questions get ignored. There is tremendous pressure to work for free, which is something I’m not prepared to do at this stage in my career or life. The feeling of being somewhat behind as I’m very much in the same boat as a lot of 20-24 year olds. I’m not going to lie, it is impossible not to succumb to discouragement every once in a while.

What advice could you offer someone who is considering moving to London to work in fashion?

Develop a thicker skin – be prepared to weather the very British “yes that means no”. Take a philosophical approach to the ups and downs, and a practical approach to living your life – be frugal, find a side gig. Be incredibly tenacious, because the girl who gets the gig is the one who refuses to give up.

Most of all, always remember to be grateful that you are able to pursue your dream, in a city that is so full of history and knowledge and creativity.

This is a really cool project – I was asked by designer-entrepreneur Leah Barrett to submit some ideas for her accessories line, Jabberdust – and as an added benefit, she’s encouraged me to blog the process.

You can see my original rough pencil thumbnails here, the refined drawings here, and Leah’s early spec sheets here. The first samples have just arrived back from India for review, and here they are, with comments from Leah and me:

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Reversible Tabard

Leah says:

Embroidery worked on both sides at the same time has turned out very interesting. You can see how the stitches have been picked up.. looks great. The new sequin made from wood laminate is eco-chic looking.. nice texture.

I say: I LOVE the look of the sequins on the reversible tabard, both sides! The fringe at the edge… not so much.

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Tuck Scarf

Leah says:

Perfect! soft chiffon ruffles hand sewn down while beading.

I say: The tuck scarf is perfect!

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Leah says:

I don’t like it as it is colour/beading, too Indian or too referenced?.. but will continue with construction and maybe the final will be better.

I say: not really loving the embellishment. Would love to see something more similar to the tabard. I’m really curious to see pictures of the tabard and the multi-hole scarf on a person!

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Feathered Capelet

The panel with trim before sewing:

One possible fabric – wool acrylic lurex blend slubbed jersey

Placed to show the result.

Leah says:

No cutting sewing has happened yet, Tell me what you think. As for me, I was thrilled, couldn’t be more pleased I’m really looking forward to the finished piece.

Front of shrug

Back close up.

Leah says:

Ice, spikes, crystal beads: The piece is stunning a real show stopper. It’s heavy, let’s see how the fitting goes.. have not met the sample maker yet. I hope she doesn’t bail. I had given up on this style, because I didn’t expect to find materials. This is where a visit to India can be helpful. After a 4 hours of walking through the worlds busiest embroidery findings market, we found this and I okayed it.

I say: I’d really like to see more variety in this one as well, and with lighter materials – long sequins, feathers, ribbon trim.

Overall, its quite incredible to see my ideas progress into reality! Looking forward to seeing further iterations. Thanks Leah!

Last week I shared the rough thumbnail concepts I came up with for Jabberdust. Leah and I selected five designs we felt had promise, discussed some changes, and I developed more some more polished illustrations to help communicate the ideas to the factory. The next step is samples; at this stage Leah is in contact with India, negotiating what can and cannot be done. I expect there will be some design creep from these drawings – there always is – and I’m (patiently, of course) looking forward to seeing the developments as they are executed in fabric and embellishment.

Designer, entrepreneur, professor and blog reader Leah Barrett approached me with a project. Leah’s label, Jabberdust, is a line of scarves and accessories that features incredible handwork. Leah works closely with factories in India to showcase the possibilities of embellishment. Her background is in production management, and she surprised me with a rare proposal.  I’m paraphrasing here – Leah said:

“I’m very comfortable with the production aspect of the business, however I find the conceptual aspect of design more challenging. Would you be interested in designing a number of concepts and illustrating them – it can be anything you wish – and I will take those ideas to the factories and handle the technical development of the samples, and if they’re successful, the production?”

Even though I was in the middle of preparing to decamp from Toronto permanently, I said yes! I knew that any designer would thrill for the chance, because most designers I know (myself included, though I rarely design) are the exact opposite – they’d happily spend all their time on conceptualizing, but instead they have to oversee production.

Part of the deal is that Leah is allowing me to blog the process. It started with me just doodling a bunch of ideas, and then doing somewhat more refined doodles to discuss with Leah.

You can click on any of these sketches to see them bigger. Number two features a design I attempted to create on a necklace one craft night at Nathalie‘s, I’ve been waiting for a chance to do something more with the simple concept.

The pen is little notes for changes that we discussed. Number four features an idea inspired by Julian Roberts‘ tunnel technique.

And number five is a variation. I have no idea what number six is supposed to be.

Some of these ideas – like the reversible tabard on the left, seemed like they could just as easily do without embellishment – but that’s not very Jabberdust.

This last idea literally came to me in a dream. I was at my grandparent’s place and I remembered it at breakfast, and immediately interrupted tea and toast to run and doodle it.

Out of these ideas, Leah and I selected five, made some changes, and I developed some more finished drawings for them. That I will post soon, stand by.

This is for anyone and everyone who wants to come to say hi & bye to me in Toronto.